Well, my journey in Prince George is coming to an end. My ticket has been paid for and I get to spend the rest of the next three weeks packing and sending my stuff back home. It's kind of bitter sweet.
I'm extremely happy to be closer to my kids and able to see my daughter daily again. As well, I'm going to be a lot closer to my family support and a counsellor that I get along with very well and who helps push to help me strive.
Maybe leaving Nanaimo was the lesson I needed to realize that's where I belong.
Coming to Prince George was not all negatives for my life. I took some huge steps in recovery and found a little more of myself along the way. It just doesn't feel right here. I'm glad I came here, I learned a lot about myself and how I interact with others. I took myself away from some triggers and maybe I even gained some tools on how I can start to fix those. I've spent a lot of time realizing what I really want in life. I've also learned that not everything is always going to go as planned. Something's go off track, shit the bed or just plain out don't happen. And that's just life and we just have to move forward. If we get stuck on a moment we lose so many more than we realize caring to much about this simple thing that we need to get over and move on from. Some people come into your life as a lesson, they aren't meant to stay and they teach you a lot about yourself and life.
Lesson learned. Time to get over it and move on with my life. I can't let this set back all the hard work I have put into my recovery. I really hope that I can start a new life back on the island, I'm going to start looking for my own place. To be independent. Without a man. I don't want another man, I am not looking for another man.
I am looking to love myself again. I am looking to rebuild my life with my children. A man is not important to me right now. I am important. I am being selfish for myself. My health, and my children. I deserve it and so do those beautiful little ones I've brought into this world. I know I can be strong and stand on my own two feet without needing to rely on someone else, so it's about damn time I step the hell up and do it.
This next three weeks is about leaving behind the past, leaving all my negativity behind when I step onto that bus to start my life again.
Here is to continuing with recovery, to a healthier me. To a stronger me, to a more stable me. Here is to working hard to get myself where I need to be. Patience. Patience and more patience.
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